Tag Archives: hurts

With the grasp of a hand

Hey there,

when was the last time you really felt the tight grasp of a beloved person? In my special case it’s about 4 weeks past. The circumstances were different compared to a love attachment. Strange word. Just googled it to be sure I’m not talking shit.

So then the “relationship” only went on for about two weeks and we loved and had some real nice moments together and even though I wore rose-colored glasses it felt special and also the grasp of her hands on my palms and even more in my heart. Today nothing special is happening. I am writing in this blog chilling on my couch eating some shit and trying to get things right in my head concerning relationships.

After the 2 weeks I was truly depressed, didn’t eat for about 2 days and did not go to school. It was a terrible feeling. Now that I mostly got over it I feel lonley as fuck. The computer does not say your good or gives you smiles when you caress his keyboard with your dirty hands. Music heals tiny inner wounds in repainting those surfaces.

In those times a simple touch can change everything. A gaze can warm your veins and give you strength to carry your life on and keep the wheel on turning. What if you can’t afford such a helping hand? In my case I try to get out with people that I barely even know. It sounds strange but I can get abstracted by those strangers. Even though we don’t share that much we care in some cases. We care about the person that stands right in front of us. Not in an emotional deeper way than a friend but when talking to a person or just giving a hug when we get to know them. So don’t deny a hug because it is a sophisticated social thing. Waitresses get even more tips when just touching the shoulder of a customer and I thing we in our society have unlearned to get in touch with people. Social media is conducive to this thing some may say. It depends on the social estate of a person how it changes life to use social media or technology.

So what does a grasp change? It can change everything. A day, a moment, a second, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime.

I wish you an awesome day,



One thing at a time

Hey there,
Todays topic is something that many of you maybe do or not do intentionally. Procrastination.

We all got things to do and really want to do them well. But sometimes we get so distracted by other things that seem more interesting or important to us that we forget about the formerly mission.

I get hold back by many things and distracted easily. Sometimes i feel very depressed about it and fear that I could hit redundancy and die on the streets. That’s just the worst and I really hope no one of you will hit this stage in your life of becoming homeless. Here in Germany we got a social network that catches nearly everyone. Even those who cannot work anymore and are hit by a hard depression. I know that this is not the case in every country and I’m really happy that I can live here in Germany.

The main reason i am talking about procrastination is because i am trying to get a grip of the tasks that are offered to me. Like do a scribble of that, render this and take a photo of that. The importance of doing one thing after another in such harsh times of being everywhere is that you are just one person at a time.

When I eat, I eat. When I sit, I sit.

This can be said for nearly everything. Of course you should make plans. But when you work on something, do it right and don’t get distracted by those many other possibilities.

Have an awesome day,

Your Henni

Settle Things

Hey there,

today I got an real issue to talk about. It’s kind a lack of mine and maybe some of you suffer from it like I do. Today I got a real long conversation on the phone with my mom who told me some things about my childhood and gave me her opinion about my feelings about future and my self-confidence.

In this conversation the most discussed topic and she read out a long list for me whether I have or have not a disease called Attention deficit disorder (abbr. ADD). It’s a disease which symptoms are lack of concentration, organisation and sometimes even social issues that combine to problem what can really make your life complicated.

I’m not a hypochondriac but the list my mom read out to me came really close to some situations I went through since my time as a teenager. So in the next weeks I’ll do a test at the doc to get the things straight. If I should have ADD then I know what to fight against and how to get rid of some of the symptoms. In the case all should work well and I get to know why my life is sometimes so overwhelming and not satisfying that would be the next step to get a aim to live for.

If there is someone who has got this disease I would really like to talk to him or her. Only to know what could await me afterwards if the test at the doc would be positive. Maybe I have hope to find something to know what problems I am fighting against. My psychological problems are so misty and not quite to see through.

Many people are under harsh conditions in this world. Many of us are living in a social isolation. I don’t want to live in this circumstances anymore. I want a live worth living with people to die for and people who love me like I am and also give everything.

I hope you have some of those. Or if not I’ll wish you the best to find someone who endows you the best of all presents in life: friendship.

Thanks for reading. Wish you an awesome day,

Your Henni