Tag Archives: life

Back to the future

Hey there,

my name is Henni and today I want to talk about the feeling of nostalgia. When I think back to my childhood there is some decent stuff and also some things that I don’t even remember and I am kind a happy about this. So when thinking about the past what is the reason for doing so?

Remembering old things is because we were happy in those times. When you think of a happy relationship. What are the most remembered parts of it? The happy ones. Oh that’s not true you may say. Yes of course not. The things we mostly remember are the things that burn into our souls and never let go. I’m not talking about the bad neither the good’ol days darlings. No only about that shit that sticking out events in our lives. That’s nothing new you may say but today it occurred to me and that was not the first time the recall got me back.

It wasn’t everything fine in my childhood. Maybe I realise it now when I am 21. Yes I am socially disturbed. I don’t know why. Happenings happened and they burned into me like a glowing nail piled into butter. I melted and was deformed and now I am what formed me. A ball of the shifts my life had for me now in my starting twenties. Maybe I will look back like I do now and think:

Hey, wooow, that stuff in the twenties was some decent shit. Yeah, hopefully I will never look down to myself like that ever again.

Whatever will happen in my thirties this is what is now. I am not truly happy about the conjunctures I am currently living in nor am I that sad to say I want to end it the bad way ( like many blogs I have read in my bad years do ). Today I collect some broken pieces of mine and try to figure out why I have changed like I have changed. Maybe it’s wrong to recognize this at 23 pm here in Germany but that’s ok. The day tommorow will be a new Wednesday. New changes, new things to explore. So why not doing so?

Let the old stuff behind and begin to understand why I am on this earth. Is there a greater purpose that I don’t understand now? I don’t think so. The greatest purpose in life one can ever make is to believe in him or herself and form the bulk of life he was gifted with to be happy. That’s in some way part of my sense of life.

Thanks for reading. I really appreciate that. I wish you an awesome day.

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The white paper

Hey there,

my name is Henni and today I wanna talk about the anxiety of the blank page. I know the feeling. You sit down and want to write, draw, paint or do whatever your creative mind wants to throw out into the space.

Maybe you suffer under the same problems as I do. The page doesn’t fill itself and the ideas won’t come. So what’s the problem with this progress?

You think you don’t have ideas. And they won’t be coming if you don’t try to do something stupid. The stupid things are only stupid because we have no scientific or moral explanation for the behaviour of a person.  But when you can see the aim of this you can understand what lays beyond.

So give yourself a try to be crazy and don’t over think everything you will do. Just give it a try. No idea can be crazy enough to fill the blank pages. Maybe you get inspired by yourself. That’s the best case that can happen. At least you have fun like a kindergarten child. ^^

An exercise to boost your creativity:

Write down five words you associate with a random or chosen word. Whatever it is. It doesn’t matter. Even if it’s cruel, ridiculous, stupid, insane, egocentric… And based on these 5 you can build another 5. So you’ll soon get a great mass of ideas and words. May your inspiration flow. Have fun! 😉

I wish you an awesome day,

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Bang Bang

Hey there,

my name is Henni and today I want to talk about the fall in love. Many films deal with the topic of love and especially romantic films. They are watched with your fiancé or with yourself and a bit pack of icecreme (only to fulfill the cliche).
Whatever it is we long for that feeling to be loved and be cared for. Humans are social beings who need to interact and show their feelings. Even men need to do this although many think it’s totally unmanly to do so.
For myself I have to state that I really love falling in love. In many cases i do this mostly too early because of my social problems and deficiency but that’s me. I’m a person who falls in love very fast and let the heart speak out what the mind cannot say.
It’s like being hit by a car frontal and you can’t even react to that thing. Like a deer staring into the light cones.
Blood pumps faster and faster and the eyes are fixed. Nearly like a drug addict you can’t think of anything else.

I really wish you the best and that you will find the love of your life. And if you already have found a special someone for you I’m really happy for you.

Those nights and days strolling with two hearts beating near.
No fear shall tear apart the promise we make.
For the loneliest days and moments of sorrow.
I can borrow you and hope for your help.
There is light at the end of the night and it’s called love.

Bang bang. Amor has completed the mission.

I wish you an awesome day,

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Riding a bicycle

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.

Albert Einstein

Hey there,

what are those things called chances? Yesterday I went to a party waiting for a friend to get with her other friends in the club. I waited for about half an hour and then I went back home because I got the feeling of being alone and my heart began to race. Maybe it was some kind of a panic attack but I don’t really know. Never had such a thing I think. My former doctor never diagnosed this. I am searching for another therapist who can discover with me the dark shadows that lay on my past and are influencing my present.

The importance of this happening to me is immense. After the impact of waiting lonely with no other person in front of the club I talked to a friend of mine on the phone for about 3 hours. What let’s me feel good and what not. Sometimes we don’t use chances because we are held back by some keen emotions and commemorations. We are influenced by the social impact we got in our whole lifetime and with this melt pot of thoughts, experiences we try to master the way of life.

So what does Einstein want to say with this quote? In my opinion and you don’t have to agree with that he could have wanted to remind us that we decide in which way our life has to go. We have to decide. There is this free will of ours and the more or less great possibilities in life that we can pursue. But we have to take the chances and be true to ourself. In my belief and that is what I am learning now in days like these is that when you know what you want and stay to your right you can achieve real happiness. Whatever it takes ask yourself what makes yourself happy and do those things you got in mind. And if you don’t really know what would make yourself happy try something out that you think of could make you happy.

I wish you an awesome day,

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30 seconds of speech

Hey there,
now something I really suffered from. What is that feeling I have about life? What is it worth? Especially when it think of the value my existence has got. And even more what would I want to say to everyone in my state of life to get to know everyone how I feel about this whole thing called life and death and happiness.
Maybe I would talk about the awkwardness that I don’t understand the world with all its gaps and bumps. Sometimes it feels like the whole thing would be a repeating game. Not like a video game but like a condition where you perceive and in the same moment think of something else. It seems it real and somehow disturbing that it’s so confusing. Maybe it’s only how I feel sometimes about this thing called life but I thought that this is only the case because I haven’t found my future dream. It’s true. The search is going on and I can only see the distant spruces in the fog. How they swift through the wind and gaze at me saying: Come at us but first clear the fog so you won’t fall over your own feet.

This fog is so dense that it appears to be not soluble. And even though there’s this little hope in me that says: Give it a try although you can barely see the sun shining through.

Thanks for reading. Have a nice day sis and bros.

Your Henni