Tag Archives: love

Back to the future

Hey there,

my name is Henni and today I want to talk about the feeling of nostalgia. When I think back to my childhood there is some decent stuff and also some things that I don’t even remember and I am kind a happy about this. So when thinking about the past what is the reason for doing so?

Remembering old things is because we were happy in those times. When you think of a happy relationship. What are the most remembered parts of it? The happy ones. Oh that’s not true you may say. Yes of course not. The things we mostly remember are the things that burn into our souls and never let go. I’m not talking about the bad neither the good’ol days darlings. No only about that shit that sticking out events in our lives. That’s nothing new you may say but today it occurred to me and that was not the first time the recall got me back.

It wasn’t everything fine in my childhood. Maybe I realise it now when I am 21. Yes I am socially disturbed. I don’t know why. Happenings happened and they burned into me like a glowing nail piled into butter. I melted and was deformed and now I am what formed me. A ball of the shifts my life had for me now in my starting twenties. Maybe I will look back like I do now and think:

Hey, wooow, that stuff in the twenties was some decent shit. Yeah, hopefully I will never look down to myself like that ever again.

Whatever will happen in my thirties this is what is now. I am not truly happy about the conjunctures I am currently living in nor am I that sad to say I want to end it the bad way ( like many blogs I have read in my bad years do ). Today I collect some broken pieces of mine and try to figure out why I have changed like I have changed. Maybe it’s wrong to recognize this at 23 pm here in Germany but that’s ok. The day tommorow will be a new Wednesday. New changes, new things to explore. So why not doing so?

Let the old stuff behind and begin to understand why I am on this earth. Is there a greater purpose that I don’t understand now? I don’t think so. The greatest purpose in life one can ever make is to believe in him or herself and form the bulk of life he was gifted with to be happy. That’s in some way part of my sense of life.

Thanks for reading. I really appreciate that. I wish you an awesome day.

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The white paper

Hey there,

my name is Henni and today I wanna talk about the anxiety of the blank page. I know the feeling. You sit down and want to write, draw, paint or do whatever your creative mind wants to throw out into the space.

Maybe you suffer under the same problems as I do. The page doesn’t fill itself and the ideas won’t come. So what’s the problem with this progress?

You think you don’t have ideas. And they won’t be coming if you don’t try to do something stupid. The stupid things are only stupid because we have no scientific or moral explanation for the behaviour of a person.  But when you can see the aim of this you can understand what lays beyond.

So give yourself a try to be crazy and don’t over think everything you will do. Just give it a try. No idea can be crazy enough to fill the blank pages. Maybe you get inspired by yourself. That’s the best case that can happen. At least you have fun like a kindergarten child. ^^

An exercise to boost your creativity:

Write down five words you associate with a random or chosen word. Whatever it is. It doesn’t matter. Even if it’s cruel, ridiculous, stupid, insane, egocentric… And based on these 5 you can build another 5. So you’ll soon get a great mass of ideas and words. May your inspiration flow. Have fun! 😉

I wish you an awesome day,

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Bang Bang

Hey there,

my name is Henni and today I want to talk about the fall in love. Many films deal with the topic of love and especially romantic films. They are watched with your fiancé or with yourself and a bit pack of icecreme (only to fulfill the cliche).
Whatever it is we long for that feeling to be loved and be cared for. Humans are social beings who need to interact and show their feelings. Even men need to do this although many think it’s totally unmanly to do so.
For myself I have to state that I really love falling in love. In many cases i do this mostly too early because of my social problems and deficiency but that’s me. I’m a person who falls in love very fast and let the heart speak out what the mind cannot say.
It’s like being hit by a car frontal and you can’t even react to that thing. Like a deer staring into the light cones.
Blood pumps faster and faster and the eyes are fixed. Nearly like a drug addict you can’t think of anything else.

I really wish you the best and that you will find the love of your life. And if you already have found a special someone for you I’m really happy for you.

Those nights and days strolling with two hearts beating near.
No fear shall tear apart the promise we make.
For the loneliest days and moments of sorrow.
I can borrow you and hope for your help.
There is light at the end of the night and it’s called love.

Bang bang. Amor has completed the mission.

I wish you an awesome day,

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With the grasp of a hand

Hey there,

when was the last time you really felt the tight grasp of a beloved person? In my special case it’s about 4 weeks past. The circumstances were different compared to a love attachment. Strange word. Just googled it to be sure I’m not talking shit.

So then the “relationship” only went on for about two weeks and we loved and had some real nice moments together and even though I wore rose-colored glasses it felt special and also the grasp of her hands on my palms and even more in my heart. Today nothing special is happening. I am writing in this blog chilling on my couch eating some shit and trying to get things right in my head concerning relationships.

After the 2 weeks I was truly depressed, didn’t eat for about 2 days and did not go to school. It was a terrible feeling. Now that I mostly got over it I feel lonley as fuck. The computer does not say your good or gives you smiles when you caress his keyboard with your dirty hands. Music heals tiny inner wounds in repainting those surfaces.

In those times a simple touch can change everything. A gaze can warm your veins and give you strength to carry your life on and keep the wheel on turning. What if you can’t afford such a helping hand? In my case I try to get out with people that I barely even know. It sounds strange but I can get abstracted by those strangers. Even though we don’t share that much we care in some cases. We care about the person that stands right in front of us. Not in an emotional deeper way than a friend but when talking to a person or just giving a hug when we get to know them. So don’t deny a hug because it is a sophisticated social thing. Waitresses get even more tips when just touching the shoulder of a customer and I thing we in our society have unlearned to get in touch with people. Social media is conducive to this thing some may say. It depends on the social estate of a person how it changes life to use social media or technology.

So what does a grasp change? It can change everything. A day, a moment, a second, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime.

I wish you an awesome day,

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Love in a time of social networks

Hey there,

we live in a time of social networks. Most of us use facebook to connect to different friends in various countries and with miscellaneous tongues. Within all this social life what is a hug worth?

What are kisses and real testimonies of value in those times?

Let’s see how social networks are working. Not the explanation of industrial economics. What I am talking about is the socially trend we are pursuing. Many people are sitting in front of their device and are communicating and in some cases it is really good to do it that way but are we really holding contact? Here I can only speak in my own experience with social networks like facebook, twitter and so on. We share our own life with a vast mass of people. Whether it’s the neighbor whom we see only if we accidentically meet at the letterbox or on a festivity held by one of the neighbors you are really chummy with. It is only an example for the arbitrariness we are having friends and holding contact with people.

Do we really need that much information of gentries that we use up time that we could use for others we really care about?

My relationship with facebook was quitted now about one and a half month ago. It’s not like a miss those gently reminders of birthdays or invitations to parties. The crucial argument I substitute is that we should really care more for the people we love. When there is a party and I am not invited by someone because I haven’t got facebook then I am sorry. Maybe I wasn’t even welcome on this party anyway.

I get a little nostalgic although I am only twenty one now. There was once a time when we called each other when we got problems. Most people just write a short message instead of talking to each other. We create a enormous amount of friends that we actually don’t know that much.

Can we really call 501 friends really friends? Maybe they are more acquaintances and the term is a little exaggerated by the social network but we are watching posts that aren’t even relevant for our own life on a timeline which we should moreover direct in the real life.

Like in the song of Ingrid Michaelson it just feels good to get a like or reply or whatever that acknowledges you exist. Scientists found out that a like or comment to our content we post on social media triggers our brain to produce endorphins which are mostly known for creating happiness in our mind. You can say those social medias can become a drug and are apprehended in Britain as a real addiction sickness. The folks who have got this problem need a therapy and are showing nearly the same symptoms like drug addicts and other addicts.

The social networks can be a trap. Many sociologists are stating that social networks are helping to create an even better network for many of us. How many of us forget that there is also a group of people who get more and more anxious of the real world. I am affected by this problem as well. It’s not a heavy burden like it was before two years though I feel real fear while thinking of some social actions.

Love can only be achieved by real contact. There is no thing that could ever replace a genuine hug or kiss. No chat nor written words in a network. The reality teaches that we only feel beloved when we get in contact with humans in the real world.

I wish you a wonderful day with people who love you,

Your Henni

Appreciation

Hey there,

I wish you all a good morning. Here in Germany we have got about 8am. Laying on my couch and try to wake up so I can go to school at 12am.

Today I want to talk about motivation and in a way also about inspiration. We all need this. Motivation. Whatever we do we do it to get something back. Sounds very selfish but that’s not the case. In most cases you expect some kind of appreciation. Maybe that’s an even better word for this. Appreciation. Either we would be very disappointed. If no one ever notices that you have done what you have done what is the case you have done it? Could be also a problem of mine if you don’t agree with me but in most cases when I do something for another person I only want at least that people react to it. That’s also a kind of acknowledgment.

In these days I don’t feel like my work is that appreciated by others. And also not by myself. And there lies the big truth. When I see my own work I really don’t like it that much. Is it the dissatisfaction with my own life. I have got so much and though I don’t feel fulfilled and happy. It’s weird but the most needed things are so essential and simple as you can think of. Human proximity. Friendship. Love.

Thank you for reading. I wish you an awesome day.

Your Henni