Tag Archives: personal

With the grasp of a hand

Hey there,

when was the last time you really felt the tight grasp of a beloved person? In my special case it’s about 4 weeks past. The circumstances were different compared to a love attachment. Strange word. Just googled it to be sure I’m not talking shit.

So then the “relationship” only went on for about two weeks and we loved and had some real nice moments together and even though I wore rose-colored glasses it felt special and also the grasp of her hands on my palms and even more in my heart. Today nothing special is happening. I am writing in this blog chilling on my couch eating some shit and trying to get things right in my head concerning relationships.

After the 2 weeks I was truly depressed, didn’t eat for about 2 days and did not go to school. It was a terrible feeling. Now that I mostly got over it I feel lonley as fuck. The computer does not say your good or gives you smiles when you caress his keyboard with your dirty hands. Music heals tiny inner wounds in repainting those surfaces.

In those times a simple touch can change everything. A gaze can warm your veins and give you strength to carry your life on and keep the wheel on turning. What if you can’t afford such a helping hand? In my case I try to get out with people that I barely even know. It sounds strange but I can get abstracted by those strangers. Even though we don’t share that much we care in some cases. We care about the person that stands right in front of us. Not in an emotional deeper way than a friend but when talking to a person or just giving a hug when we get to know them. So don’t deny a hug because it is a sophisticated social thing. Waitresses get even more tips when just touching the shoulder of a customer and I thing we in our society have unlearned to get in touch with people. Social media is conducive to this thing some may say. It depends on the social estate of a person how it changes life to use social media or technology.

So what does a grasp change? It can change everything. A day, a moment, a second, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime.

I wish you an awesome day,

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Riding a bicycle

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.

Albert Einstein

Hey there,

what are those things called chances? Yesterday I went to a party waiting for a friend to get with her other friends in the club. I waited for about half an hour and then I went back home because I got the feeling of being alone and my heart began to race. Maybe it was some kind of a panic attack but I don’t really know. Never had such a thing I think. My former doctor never diagnosed this. I am searching for another therapist who can discover with me the dark shadows that lay on my past and are influencing my present.

The importance of this happening to me is immense. After the impact of waiting lonely with no other person in front of the club I talked to a friend of mine on the phone for about 3 hours. What let’s me feel good and what not. Sometimes we don’t use chances because we are held back by some keen emotions and commemorations. We are influenced by the social impact we got in our whole lifetime and with this melt pot of thoughts, experiences we try to master the way of life.

So what does Einstein want to say with this quote? In my opinion and you don’t have to agree with that he could have wanted to remind us that we decide in which way our life has to go. We have to decide. There is this free will of ours and the more or less great possibilities in life that we can pursue. But we have to take the chances and be true to ourself. In my belief and that is what I am learning now in days like these is that when you know what you want and stay to your right you can achieve real happiness. Whatever it takes ask yourself what makes yourself happy and do those things you got in mind. And if you don’t really know what would make yourself happy try something out that you think of could make you happy.

I wish you an awesome day,

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